Yes, I sell pigs

This is a call that I get every week or two. It starts out the same way.

"Hi. I saw your sign on the highway, the one that says weaner pigs. Do you sell weaner pigs?"

Yes, I do. I've got 20 to choose from right now. Want to come and look at them?

"Yes... but how big are they?"

They range in weight from about 20lbs to about 80lbs.

"what's the smallest one you've got?"

Um... well, i have some that are not weaned yet, those weigh about 6-7lbs now.

"how big do they get? We want one that won't get too big"

ah... I don't think I can help you. My pigs are supposed to get really big and delicious. In fact, if you buy one of them, and feed it what it wants, you'll have a 300lb pig in 6-7 months.

"that's too big. do you have a smaller one?"

Nope. you're right though about that being a big pig. The worst part is that they hog the couch.