Our help wanted ad

We're looking for a farmhand or two to add to our crew.   Here's our ad:  

 Farm Hand Wanted: (arlington)

We need a farmhand

We operate a small diversified farm. Our primary product is pigs, but we raise a little bit of everything. We're looking for someone who loves working with animals, has basic carpentry skills, can lift 60 lbs, has a clean driving record and a good work ethic. We would prefer someone who's willing to commit to 1 year; this is not a summer job.

This is NOT an internship. We pay a fair wage for a fair days work. You'll learn, but we'll pay you to do it. We don't think anyone should work for free. We will pay you less during an evaluation period. If you work out, we'll pay you more. We figure that's fair.

We do work with animals every day; some of the animals will appreciate you. Some will bite you. You have to love them all.

Common tasks include fence construction and repair; animal handling and movement, cleaning and repairing animal enclosures, pens and shelters, picking up supplies for the farm, SHOVELING CRAP. MOUNTAINS OF CRAP. Tending to crops in various ways. You'll be lifting, stacking, hammering and chasing every hour you work. This isn't Farmville. It's not virtual. This list is not a complete description. Did I mention the crap?

We do raise animals for people to eat. We'd prefer it if you didn't faint at the sight of blood. Yes, you will see blood if you work here. Some of it may be yours if you're not careful. We want you to be careful.

No experience necessary, but if you are a nitwit, just cross us off your list, ok?