The worlds oldest profession

I moved my steers and cow to my north property yesterday.  It's 10 acres of reasonably lush grass and alder trees, and a nice place for a cow to spend the summer.  When I was there I noticed that an outbuilding had been vandalized; spray paint, and some windows broken. 

I went back today to check on the cows, and found an acura parked blocking my gate.  I was pretty annoyed by this, but it happens sometimes, and I don't have a tow-away sign there (yet) so I parked my truck, put on my boots, and walked down the driveway.  It's about 300' down the driveway to the outbuilding, and about 100' past that to the pasture fence & gate.  As I got closer to the outbuilding I saw someone peering at me from the loft. 

"Alright!  Come on out!  I see you up there" and out came this bedraggled specimen.  The pink miniskirt was a bit of a stretch; she's 35-40, and looks like she's been ridden hard and put away wet.  I did the usual thing, "Ma'am, I'm giving you a criminal trespass warning at this time.  If I catch you on the property again, I'll have you arrested and press charges.  Call your buddy out and get off the property". 

A fairly clean-cut guy, about 30, comes out, and I tell him the same thing, when she interrupts.  "We come down here because it's private".  Yea, it's private property.  Get off my land.  "But would you mind if we..."  No, you can't.  Get off my land.  Don't come back.  Thanks. 

The cows were fine; happily eating the grass and having a good cow time.  Joys of urban farming.